However, let's just go ahead and say we're gonna get a little "Apocalypse" action this year. I say it could be a good thing. Maybe the Mayan calendar stopped at 2012 because they got a visit from the future to warn their 1% that the year 2012 was the end of the road for those who got rich on corporate welfare and making their money on the backs of the 99%.
Perhaps 2012 will be the end of the road for the likes of Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist. Maybe in some bizarre twist, the Michele Bachmann/Rick Santorum ticket gets elected and Pat Robertson is chosen as the leader of the American version of the Spanish Inquisition. You didn't see that coming? Well, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition! At this point, seeing as how Santorum is the frothy bottom on this ticket, God decides to step in and end the world as we know it because things are finally just too much.
The day after the election, seeing as how the whole thing was so terribly rigged, the Rapture comes. It'll be a good thing, trust me. The religious right prays for it to come, tries to expedite the process by stirring up things in the Middle East, and finally God decides that enough is enough in 2012. They believe the Rapture will be their reward and ironically, it will. I foresee Pat Robertson and James Dobson being forced to watch hour after hour of hot man on man penetration, unable to look away, in the spirit of "A Clockwork Orange". I have this sadistic fantasy where Fred Phelps and Pat Buchanan are forced to explore every inch of each other's wrinkly old bodies, over and over again. Yes, it seems like a fitting reward for their rigorous adherence to "God's law".
Sometime around 3pm, the world suddenly becomes a whole lot more cheerful and tolerant as vans full of denim skirt wearing fundamentalist Christians suddenly disappear from the earth. Their disappearance won't be noticed until the 839 people who watch the Duggars pop out another kid suddenly realize the show has been cancelled or when Palin's Facebook page goes silent.
So if this is the "Apocalypse" the Mayans supposedly predicted, bring it on. Just give me about a day's notice so I can stock up on booze, weed, porn and everything else those cheerless fucks want to make illegal. Happy New Year everyone!