Seeing as how the last set of rules which I reposted from elsewhere was so popular, I decided to make some more of my own.
If you are an actual MMA, UFC or whatever fighter, you go ahead and wear that shirt. For all the other 'roided out gym rats, it's rather funny and pathetic. Sort of makes you the Napoleon Dynamite of cagefighting, doesn't it?
To the patrons at Starbucks, order a coffee, not a fucking birthday cake or some other 5 course caffeine concoction that requires more logistics than a shuttle launch. There's 30 other people in line and you are not a unique or beautiful snowflake so just get regular coffee so we can all get where we're going.
Dear 30 year old ironic hipster dude, no one drinks PBR because it tastes good. In fact, I'd almost rather drink warm Old Milwaukee strained through a true "working class" person's work socks than drink PBR. Yes, it's really that nasty and your sailor tattoos are just as retarded seeing as you don't even know how to find the North Star, let alone operate an actual boat.
This one goes out to all the people who put clothes on their animals, what the hell is your problem? It's an animal, not a child. If you want something to play dress up with, have a kid or adopt one. Dogs were domesticated to guard the cave and the food supply, not to take to a doggy spa and paint it's toenails pink. I can guarantee you right now, if your dog had opposable thumbs, it would have offed itself by now rather than looking like a retard.